Lately I have been getting a little too “in my head” about the things I want and how they are showing up or not showing up in my world. I’d start writing a post for instance, but an hour or so later I’d get frustrated with how it’s not what I want it to be yet. I know it can be better, but can’t figure out how to get it that way.
So I’d stop and paint instead. I’d have fun for another hour or so and then I’d come to a point where I’m not happy with it at all. With frustration mounting fast I stop again. I’m glad I learned to just stop and not try to wrestle it to the ground. Still… going from thing to thing isn’t exactly satisfying either.
It’s not that I have an expectation or need to have everything be perfect. I’m not trying to get every little thing “just right” (not this time anyway). But see, not all perfectionism is about waiting for perfection. I don’t even have close to the amount of patience needed for something like that.
For me perfectionism shows up as labeling “what is”
as “not good enough”, never being satisfied.
I have this idea in my head of what it could be and when reality doesn’t match it I get disappointed. I can imagine the moment being better so what it is now isn’t good enough. While ambitions and goals are wonderful, endlessly chasing “better” is a very unsatisfying way to live.
If feeling good, feeling satisfied is what I strive for, and it is, I need to find that in my now. I cannot get to a place of satisfaction by being frustrated with what is. It doesn’t work like that. Frustration only breeds more frustration. Find something to feel good about and I find more stuff to feel good about. It is that simple. You get more of what you focus on.
So I asked myself: what can I focus on that does feel good?
I’ll save my thoughts on gratitude and appreciation for another time, but let’s just say it doesn’t take me very long to find a whole list of things to feel good about. Things that simply feel good as I think about them. And in focusing on them, I feel better.
I get to “better” simply by focusing on what is already good.
The amount of satisfaction I get from life is not determined by the circumstances of my life. I can look for and find satisfaction in this moment.
Again, this doesn’t mean I can’t reach for more. After all I am always going to be on my way to something else, might as well shoot for something better, but it feels so much better coming from a place of already enough.
Because what I have is already enough. It’s good enough. More than good enough. It’s pretty great actually. I don’t have to get to “better” to enjoy what is. I love how satisfying that is.
When I make peace with this moment,
calling it good enough,
the good gets even better.
See how different that word “better” is there? Feels better right? By saying something is “even better”, you acknowledge it is already good to begin with.
Sometimes I imagine I need to get to a place called “better” to find fulfillment, when actually it feels a lot better to make the best of where I am. Loving what is while moving toward something that is even better is a very satisfying way to live.
So instead of working to make this post better, calling this: ‘good enough’ feels even better.
Hmm, I wonder what would happen if I applied the same idea to myself…
I wonder what would happen if we all did this for ourselves. Or for each other while we’re at it.
Wait, did I just take it too far again?
Anyway, one thing at a time. For now I’m just going to call this “Good Enough” and publish this.
Or maybe take a break first. Yes, that’s even better.