It was my husband and my tenth wedding anniversary this week and Hans had told me he had arranged a surprise. I was to be ready at three p.m and that I might want to wear something kind of fancy. Touched he had planned something at all I was eager for the day, with no idea what was about to happen.
That day he came home early with a beautiful bouquet of roses, but frankly that wasn’t even the surprise as I’ve been spoiled with them for many years now. The surprise showed up minutes later: A 1935 Rolls-Royce…with a driver! How amazing is that! We had the best time being driven around in that magnificent car, payed a visit to my parents-in-law and returned to the city for dinner.
Just when I thought the day couldn’t get any better, it did. We ended the night at a beautiful restaurant enjoying a meal that was just off the charts delicious while sitting outside due to surprisingly good weather. My body held out for five hours and I came home still feeling good! This may not sound like much if you are used to working at least eight a day, but for me doing anything over two hours is a marathon.
How this day unfolded and how well my body coped was nothing short of a miracle and to say that I enjoyed it is an understatement.
The next morning however I woke up feeling as though that gorgeous car had run me over. Exhaustion washed over me and the discomfort of my body was…well, let’s use the word: ‘intense’. I’ve learned by now not to focus on the discomfort as that makes it worse so instead I opted to revel some more in the joy of our day.
I started my morning as I always do and listed things to appreciate. I typed pages worth of items without effort. A great way to milk the experience for all it’s worth. Then again it’s easy to be grateful when you’ve just been treated to an extraordinary day.
To sustain the feeling though, I can’t keep looking to the past nor can all days be amazing like that.
If I need the conditions to be that good before I can feel good, I’m not going have a happy life.
To live happily ever after you don’t need to find the love of your life.
You need to find love FOR your life.
The key isn’t to create extraordinary days (though that helps),
but to find something “extra” in the ordinary.
So I decided to look for things to love on this day, with this energy and found plenty of them. This is a process I learned from Abraham Hicks, called: a rampage of appreciation. It goes like this:
I love it when Watson comes over to lie down at my feet. I love it when he falls asleep there. I love that his snores and silly noises make me smile. I love hearing songs I love come on the radio. I love just pausing a moment to just rest my eyes and listen.
I love that resting is the best thing for me to do today. I love the peace and quiet around the house aiding me in that. I love having all the time I need to let my body recover. I love knowing that energy and strength will return. I love that my body still supports me in moving around the house. I love feeling well enough to walk the dog myself. I love finding things I can still do on a day like this.
I love how easy it is, once I get going, to find more things to appreciate. I love knowing that the more I practice these gratitude muscles, the easier it will get to find things when I’m low. I love that it’s perfectly okay with me that I don’t feel this good all of the time. I just love that I feel like this more of the time. I love knowing that where I am and however I feel is alright. I love that even as the day wears on and discomfort intensifies, I can still feel at ease in my mind.
I love that I can look for things to appreciate no matter what else is going on.
Can you feel how freeing that is?
I used the word miracle to describe our anniversary but the real miracle is this shift in perspective. When I let go of the need for conditions to be good before I feel good, I can just feel good. If I can feel good when my body doesn’t it no longer matters (as much) whether my energy is ebbing or flowing. My happiness doesn’t depend on it. Does this mean I am always happy? No. Of course not. It does mean I never have to resign myself to feeling low just because my energy is. That, to me, is freedom and if that’s not something to love I don’t know what is.
Try it sometime. This process may not work every time, but it is oh so worth it when it does.
Just find one thing you like, one thing that makes you feel good as you think about it. Then find another. And another. The more you find, the better you feel and the better you feel, the more you find and before you know it you’ll be going through your day looking for things to love.
P.S. If you’re having a rough day and you can’t even think of trying this (as I still do). I recommend you give this one a read: “What if”