A few weeks ago I wrote about finding love for my life by looking for things to love throughout the day. That practice has been tremendously helpful and has turned many a day around for me, even challenging ones. In fact, it has helped me to feel better and better and I’ve come a long way.
Sometimes I can’t get there. All the lovely things to love are still there but I cannot get myself to that place of appreciation. Some days I feel tired and weary. Other times I just feel crabby and crappy and resentful. This picture isn’t as pretty as the one I painted the other day, but it is as true.
One day you’re feeling strong and empowered, delighting in newfound clarity and the next you feel weary and vulnerable and your head fills with should’s and shouldn’ts, questioning everything. The content varies, but it usually involves scenario’s with either a different past or an imaginary problem in the future. In short:
One such a day a few months back, instead of letting myself get lost in a quagmire of unanswerable questions, I decided to ask different ones. Yes, I feel weary, small and vulnerable, but what if…
What if it’s okay to not feel okay?
What if not feeling okay with that is okay too?
What if feeling crappy and crabby and weary sometimes is not a mistake but part of being human?
What if I can decide that however I show up today, it’s enough?
What if I’m only suffering as a result of my own expectations?
What if the way to more ease in life is to be easier on myself?
What if the way to feel better is to stop demanding of myself that I feel better?
What if reclaiming my power is just this?
What if there is power in letting myself feel powerless from time to time?
What if my power lies in letting me be me, whatever that looks like in any given moment?
Then I wondered: What if these questions are the answer I have been looking for?
I didn’t know much for sure at the time, except that it felt like relief. Relief from the pressure I put on myself to do better and feel better.
All of my questions contained the answer.
By simply removing the “what if” from the questions I am led to the clarity I thought I lacked.
It’s okay to not feel okay.
Not feeling okay with that is okay too.
Feeling crappy and crabby and weary sometimes is not a mistake but part of being human.
I can decide that however I show up today, it’s enough.
I’m only suffering as a result of my own expectations.
The way to more ease in life is to be easier on myself.
The way to feel better is to stop demanding of myself that I feel better.
Reclaiming my power is just this.
There is power in letting myself feel powerless from time to time.
My power lies in letting me be me, whatever that looks like in any given moment.
When we’re having a rough day it’s not helpful to demand of ourselves to do better, but there is no reason to make ourselves feel worse either. Let’s not hurt ourselves when we are already hurting. There will be times when we just don’t feel good and we don’t feel sure of anything. But what if…
What if instead of questioning ourselves
we ask ourselves kinder questions?